Guy Hater: A Romantic Comedy Read online

  “Yikes.”

  Guy leans against the doorway to my bedroom, arms folded across his chest. He’s still wearing his police uniform, and my brain is floating dangerous ideas—how to rip it off of him. Which is the complete opposite of what I should be thinking right now.

  “Yeah, they found it everywhere.”

  Black mold. I couldn’t believe it when my landlord broke the news to me earlier today. I thought they’d have everything fixed and patched up so I could move back in today, but that’s not going to happen.

  “How long until you can move back in? Not that I want you to leave or anything,” he adds quickly.

  I sigh, mashing my face between the palms of my hands. “I don’t know. They won’t know until they finish ripping out the drywall. Then there’s remediation. Inspections.”

  “Sounds like fun.”

  “Yeah, it’s a whole lot of fun living with your mom in your late twenties.”

  Guy smiles. “It’s not so bad here. Besides, you’ve got me.”

  Yes. Yes, I do.

  I let his statement die in the air for dramatic effect, and when it gets just uncomfortable enough, I say, “Oh, was that supposed to be a positive?”

  He smiles at me, creased lines forming at the edge of his eyes. “I like you, Charleigh.”

  “I like me, too.”

  I cringe inwardly as soon as it leaves my mouth. Why am I such a weirdo around Guy? But for some reason, Guy doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, it seems to draw something out of him that shifts the air around us instantly.

  “We never finished making dessert from last night.”

  There’s a change in his tone, all gravelly and sensuous, and it has an immediate effect on my body. My pulse quickens. My skin tingles. And my breath comes in choppy spurts.

  I swallow. “I don’t like dessert."

  He takes a step forward and I take two back. We’re back at it again. The same dance we had this morning. As much as I want to figure out how far we could take this, the timing is off. But I’m beginning to realize that timing is the least of Guy’s worries.

  He takes another step, and I take two, striking the edge of my bed with my calves.

  “I think we should talk,” I say.

  “I’m tired of talking. As much as I’m tired of you running.”

  “I’m not running.”

  Guy’s smile deepens. “It sure feels that way. Every time I move forward you step back. Why is that?”

  He’s in my space. Every breath I take is filled with him. I can’t see anything but him. He reaches for my cheek, his fingertips dragging gently across my skin. The fine hairs on my neck and arms shoot straight up as he draws a strand of hair away from my cheek and hides it behind my ear.

  I don’t know what to do. The logical part of me wants to stop. I’m about to break so many company policies pertaining to client relations that I could kiss my career and reputation goodbye. But the other part of me is begging for Guy’s lips again.

  Forget company policy—do what’s in your heart.

  “I know what I want,” Guy rasps, dragging his fingertips achingly slowly down my cheek. His touch is so delicate that it’s giving me goosebumps.

  “And what’s that?” I whisper.

  “I want you.”

  And with those three simple words, something inside me switches on. All my doubts and worries fade away as what I want comes into focus for the first time. And before I have a chance to think, I’m on my back with Guy on top of me.

  28

  Charleigh

  Guy’s hips press against mine, pinning me in place. I’m double fisting his shirt, hanging on for dear life as his lips crash against mine. It takes a few moments for my mind to catch up, reminding me that I’m making out with Guy on my childhood bed.

  Jackpot.

  It’s a whole hell of a lot better than I ever dreamed. And I have dreamed about it once, twice, or twenty times. Either or, really. But with Guy’s lips mashed against mine, his tongue sliding against mine, and his hands all over me, my mind is drawing blanks.

  Guy wraps a warm, rough hand around the back of my neck, pulling me closer into him, deepening our kiss as the other hand slides down my side and rests on my hip. Never have I ever kissed anyone like this. It’s as though there’s an asteroid the size of Texas on a collision course with Earth, primed to destroy humanity as we know it in a few hours. Heated, hungry, and hurried—we’re getting our fill before either of us has any second thoughts.

  But the only other thought I’m having is wondering how much better his abs are going to look up close. And as I let go of my grip, letting my fingertips slide across them, I know I won’t be disappointed.

  He lets out a deep groan as I take his bottom lip between my teeth. I let go and ask, “Did I hurt you, big guy?”

  And it’s taking on a whole new meaning right now. I can feel his big guy pressing against me. Wowza, he’s big. Guy grins against my lips, his warm breath dancing along my skin.

  “Not at all. It reminded me to breathe, actually. A few more minutes of kissing you and I’d have been a goner.”

  “That’d be a shame.”

  There's a small break. Silence. Breathing. My heart thumping. His eyes locked on mine. Every nerve ending in my body feels like it’s firing on all cylinders with slow, rhythmic pulses. I make a move to slide back on the bed for a better angle and he gets up. HE GETS UP! And now he's walking to the door, and I'm pissed, my body still reeling.

  “Guy!” I shout-whisper. “GET. BACK. HERE.” I will not be denied my God-given right to have sex in my childhood bed.

  He glances back at me. “You think I’m done? We’re not close to being done, Charleigh.” Guy shuts the door and then says, “I figured you wouldn’t want Deanna to walk by the open door.”

  Point taken.

  Guy turns back around and unbuttons his shirt, tossing it to the ground. He crosses the room as he pulls his white undershirt over his head like some underwear model in a commercial. And as I gawk at him as he looms over me, I realize that he is an underwear model. Pure muscle. Those abs, rows stacked on rows of pure muscle, are so tight that I’m sure they’ll pop out at any moment now.

  And all of it is mine.

  I position myself on my knees in front of him, unbuckling his belt as quickly as I can. Which, as it turns out, isn’t all that fast because my fingertips refuse to work together, fumbling every step of the way. What sort of sorcery holds this belt together?!

  Hurry this up! Emma squeals at me.

  I’M DOING THE BEST I CAN!

  Is this how men feel when they can’t unhook a bra? I’m about to say screw it and just unzip his pants when Guy reaches down and removes the belt for me in one smooth motion. Jesus, this is embarrassing.

  “That’s some belt you have there.”

  He smiles, placing his warm hand along my jaw, his thumb drawing light circles against my cheek.

  “Standard issue. Who’d have known they could be so complicated?”

  “Seriously.”

  “I’ll make a note not to wear one next time.”

  “Or anything at all. You could just walk around naked from now on.”

  He laughs. “I’m not sure Deanna would appreciate that.”

  “Well, I would,” I say, dragging a finger along his torso. “And that’s all that matters.”

  I kiss him just below his belly button and he groans. I like that sound. I like the noises he makes and I wonder what else I’ll be able to draw from him. I lean into him, my knees digging into the edge of the bed as I continue to kiss my way up to his face.

  He weaves his fingertips into my hair, skimming across my scalp, which sends wave after wave of delicious tingles down the nape of my neck. Before I make it to his chest, he grips my hair and pulls back gently, forcing me to look up at him. His eyes are dark, hooded under his lids, and a few seconds later he’s on me again.

  My legs splay open, and he slides in between them. I can feel his length against
me, rubbing and grinding. It feels so good. I wrap my legs around him and press him harder against me, angling my hips so he rubs against me perfectly.

  I drag my hands along his chest, up his arms, and back again, feeling every firm mound and ridge as though I’m trying to commit all of it to memory. I’ve never been with anyone so athletic, so masculine, and I want to savor every second of this.

  I nuzzle against Guy’s hand as he cups the side of my face, breathing in his spicy scent. He guides my face back toward him, and then he kisses me again. His tongue glides across mine as our lips press together, both of us taking choppy breaths whenever we can.

  Guy begins to unbutton my blouse as I reach for his pants, my fingertips regaining their dexterity and making quick work of the single button and zipper. I slide out of my blouse, unhooking my bra as Guy slips out of his pants.

  Guy snorts when he sees my eyes bulge as I look at his bulge, but wastes no time unzipping the back of my skirt and sliding it off me. He's at the edge of the bed, my legs dangling off the side. His palms press against my thighs, edging farther and farther up as his head follows behind. His warm breath dances across the surface of my skin as he plants kisses along my inner thighs.

  Our eyes lock just before his lips reach my panty line. I can hardly breathe. I can hardly think straight. But then Guy asks me if I’m sure this is what I want. There’s not a single questioning thought left in my mind. This is exactly what I want. Guy is exactly what I want.

  I nod, but Guy doesn’t continue.

  “I need to hear you say it, Charleigh.”

  I drag my teeth across my bottom lip, my center aching for release.

  “I want you, Guy,” I say in a breathy whisper. “I want you so much.”

  It’s true. I feel it deep in my core with unwavering certainty.

  And then his lips brush delicately along my wet center, barely covered by a thin layer of lace. His thumb follows shortly after, teasing me, rubbing gently. My hips buck against him, trying to increase the pressure, trying to take control, but he presses his forearm down against my hips, locking me in place.

  I let my head fall back against the bed as I relent to the agonizingly slow circles he's drawing against me. He kisses the length of my inner thigh as his thumb continues to tease me. I moan and groan as I arch my back, writhe, and beg for him to continue. And then he slides his fingers beneath the elastic band of my thong and slides it off in one smooth motion, baring me to him.

  He wastes no time, sliding one arm across my abdomen, locking me in place as his lips find my wet center. Sparks erupt in my head as my body pulses. Our eyes lock, and I don't think I've seen anything sexier than this. I can only hold eye contact for a few moments because whatever the hell Guy is doing to me is making me lose control—and quick.

  My head rolls back along with my eyes as wave after wave of pure bliss rolls over me. Even though I'm writhing and twisting, Guy's firm grasp keeps me in place even as every part of me becomes so sensitive that I can hardly take it. He reaches up with his free and grabs onto my breast, massaging me, his thumb lightly brushing across my nipple.

  When he draws his tongue across my entire length, I can feel my orgasm beginning to well.

  “Come for me,” Guy says, finally coming up for air.

  We lock eyes, and then he slides a finger inside me, hitting my spot perfectly as his lips find me again. Neither of us looks away, even as my eyes begin to glaze over. A few moments later I come, and I feel the sweet release spread across the entirety of my body, all the way up to my scalp.

  When I’m finally able to look at Guy again, I find him standing up, his athletic form silhouetted in the dim room, rolling a condom on his cock.

  Holy shit is all I can think as I finally get a look at Guy completely naked. I’ve never seen anyone so ripped before. And I’ve certainly never seen anything that big before.

  HELL YEAH! Emma screams.

  "That was nice," I say, trying to play it cool. It was way more than nice—way more than anything any other man has done to me before. I'd give up scones if it meant he did that to me every day.

  “Only nice?” Guy asks, sliding next to me on the bed. “I guess I’ll have to work a little harder next time.” His warm breath tickles my neck as he skims the surface of my arm with his palm.

  I can feel his very stiff erection along the small of my back as he repositions himself. He slides the tip along my opening, pressing gently for a moment before pulling back the next. He’s teasing me again. I try to push back against him but he grabs on tight to my hips, holding me in place.

  He slides against my wetness again and I bite down hard on my lip, a frisson of excitement running up my spine. And then he pushes farther this time, inch by delicious inch until it seems like I can't take it anymore.

  I groan.

  “Are you okay?” Guy asks.

  “More than okay,” I say, inching myself into him.

  He moans, deep and guttural, as his fingers dig even deeper into my flesh. I love that sound, sensual and satisfied as it rolls over me. Guy lets one hand wrap around me, massaging my breast as he begins to thrust. It’s slow and methodic and everything I ever wanted him to do to me.

  In and out. In and out. Christ, it feels so good as he fucks me. His hands dragging across my body. Gripping. Searching. Feeling. His lips find the crook of my neck and I'm losing it. His breath. His tongue. His lips.

  I bite my lip again, trying my best not to make any noise, but it’s no use. I can’t stop this. I’m completely losing control and I’m liking every second of it.

  “Is this better than nice?” Guy asks.

  “Yes,” I moan back at him, my hands fisting the bedspread.

  I can feel his lips form a smile against my back before kisses me in between my shoulder blades.

  “Again,” I groan as he spanks me.

  There’s another loud smack as he brings his palm against me, stroking it gently afterward.

  “That’s it,” I moan.

  God, I'm so close. I'm so close. But then Guy stops, rolling over onto his back. I roll over to him, and he cups my face and kisses me harshly. I melt into him as we taste each other. When we finally pull away, he says, "I want you on top of me. I want to watch you come."

  Oh. My. Guy.

  I slip one leg over him and then ease myself onto him, savoring the feeling of him filling me completely. He grips the back of my neck as I rock my hips against him. With our eyes locked, I’ve never felt so close to someone else before. He pulls me even closer, kissing me again.

  Guy lets go of my neck and then grips my hips. I rear back, letting my hair fall onto my back as I continue to grind against him. I can sense that he's close. He closes his eyes for a brief moment, pressing his lips into a thin line as he fights hard to hold on.

  A few moments later, I feel myself clenching against him.

  “I’m… I’m…” I mutter, letting my head rock back.

  “Look at me,” Guy says.

  I do, and a few moments later, I come, right along with Guy. I nestle against him, listening to the slow, rhythmic beat of his heart. There's no place I'd rather be. There's no other person I'd rather be with. And within a few moments, my body relaxes completely, and I fall fast asleep.

  29

  Guy

  I wake up to Charleigh giggling uncontrollably into my chest. I let her go on for a while longer because I enjoy her warm breath against my bare skin, and I don’t want the moment to end. But my curiosity gets the better of me and I have to ask: “What’s so funny?”

  The giggling begins to wind down, and after a few deep breaths they finally stop.

  And then start right back up again.

  I roll over, bracketing her with my arms as I look down at her. Christ, she's gorgeous when she smiles and laughs. "What's so funny?" I ask again.

  “I was—” Giggle. “I—oh my God!” More giggling. “I was supposed to put this—” she motions to me with her finger “—on hold until the renovati
on was over and you weren’t my client.”

  “How’d that turn out for you?”

  She thinks for a few moments and then nods. “Better than expected.”

  She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me into her, our lips meeting again.

  “I don’t think I can kiss you enough.”

  “I don’t think you could kiss me enough either.”

  I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my life than Charleigh at this moment. She’s let go of all restraint, of every wall she’s had built up around her. There’s a lightness in her eyes, a playfulness in her voice, and I can’t believe how lucky I am to have her.

  We continue to kiss, extending the moment for as long as possible until there's a loud knock on the door. Mortification would be an understatement for the expression on Charleigh's face when she hears Deanna speak to both of us through the door.

  "Now that you two are done, get dressed and come downstairs for dinner. I made pasta with Italian sausage."

  Both of us stare at each other silently as we listen to the thump of Deanna’s feet as she walks back down the hallway and downstairs. The seconds seem to stretch into hours as both of our heads spin, reeling from what just happened.

  “I guess we should be a little quieter next time,” I say finally.

  “No can do,” Charleigh says. “It’s impossible to be quiet with this.” I groan as she palms my cock, rolling it in her hand. “Or this.” She presses a finger against my lips.

  “Then we’ll just have to wait until she leaves next time.”

  Charleigh laughs. “Who’d have thought living with your mom at twenty-seven could be so complicated?”

  "I don't think either of us minds a little complication."

  I press my lips against hers, grabbing her wrist and pinning it above her head as we continue to make out. A few minutes later, Deanna calls out again. “It’s getting cold!”

  I break away from Charleigh, and it’s clear from the look in her eyes that it’s the last thing she wanted me to do. It’s the last thing I wanted to do too. If I had the choice, I’d just stay in bed with her forever.